superiorspectre | {rp} Will you defeat them, your demons and all the nonbelievers, the plans that they have made?

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{rp} Will you defeat them, your demons and all the nonbelievers, the plans that they have made?

Suzie hasn't been to see Tosh. She hasn't even tried. If Tosh needs anyone around her right now, it's people she can trust. And Suzie's got no illusions there.

Instead, she's working at being useful, working out her story. She's got something no one else has when it comes to infiltration and deception -- her cover story, if she plays it right, is the absolute truth.

In her own timeline, she'd have betrayed Torchwood. It was only a matter of time. And, sickening as that thought is, it's her armour here and now. He can't spot a lie when there isn't one.

Gwen might've said she wanted to save that for when there were no other options, but right now, the best efforts of geniuses and aliens haven't brought her Captain back. Maybe a manipulative, backstabbing little bitch might have a chance.

After all, she thinks, she was good enough to fool Jack Harkness, in the future everyone else remembers. Maybe, just maybe, she's good enough to play Thane as well.

She knows a few things about what she's walking into; the kind of man she's dealing with, the way he likes having power over others... And her facade has cracks in it, places the old scars still show. She'd be stupid if she didn't think he'd exploit them. And again, she's better-suited than anyone else to go in -- she's been there before, after all.

And maybe, just maybe, this will count as penance, somehow, for the things she did that led to the things she didn't.

She's doing this. She won't be argued with. However, she does have a concept of chain of command, informal as that's always been around Torchwood. Ideally, she needs to speak to Gwen Cooper, but she's not keen on going right over Sam's head. And given what she's about to do...

Well. It might help if there's someone she can't lie to, to reassure (Tosh) everyone of her intentions.

So this is the plan: find Sam, then talk to Gwen, then... Do what else she needs to do. She's going to want a word with the Vesmier, but first, to talk things through with her commanders.

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Suzie considers the question as she follows.

"Thane's still not harmless. He's still after the Doctor, and he's said as much. What's more, he's declared himself willing to go through everyone and everything in his way. Everyone thinks the hostages are rescued, that at least Thane doesn't have any more of us, but they're wrong, you know. He's got Jack." She swallows and keeps walking. "He's in there, trapped and struggling. And if he comes back, knowing what he did, what do you think that'll do to him? It'll just get worse, the longer we wait. The longer we wait, one way or another, to kill him or to get him out, the more Jack's going to suffer." And she knows, better than most, how much guilt Jack carries even for the things he didn't do.

But that's not all of it. Not even close. "Given his stated intent... It's only a matter of time before he tries again, before he finds some other way to make the Doctor hurt, and there's a whole city out there. So I'm going to give him a distraction. He likes power, doesn't he? Likes to have control over people." That much, he can guess from the survivors, from Hart, from Tosh... "I'm going to give him that. Give him something full of cracks and weaknesses, something already broken and barely held together that he can play with. And I can play him right back. I can get to Jack, I can turn Thane's own subconscious mind against him..." She takes a deep breath. "And I can keep him busy for a while, I hope. But we've got no coherent strategy for dealing with him, and my Captain's the best strategist I know. Might as well try to reach him.

"After all, what else've we got at this point?"

And that is...

I'm going to give him a distraction. Give him something full of cracks and weaknesses, something already broken and barely held together that he can play with.

That's more than anyone else has but on the line, so far. More than even he has, though he doubts the Rani would be interested in creating another duplicate even if he could copy the consciousnesses of others.For the situation to have become so desperate, either in balanced analysis or in this woman's view, for her to wager her entire mental structure on the gamble...

A gamble which she herself admits is unlikely to finish this.

It reminds him of someone. More than one someone, actually, in different ways, and it may be irony that where he and multiple Doctors all failed, she could have a chance. Could.

He reaches out, mentally, offering a presence at the edge of her mind, with every indication that if she'd rather continue aloud, they can. But as for certain things...

:: I have some experience with that, :: he offers, with a glimpse, just a glimpse, of what he means. The amount of damage done to his mind after the Schism, the keen interest he took in ensuring that so much damage could not happen again, the situation he put himself into, pitting his own passions against the scorns and necessities of the Senate. He's no stranger to walking into situations which could tear apart, or at the very least overwhelm, his sense of self. :: So far as mental structure goes, I can aid you. ::

He can make a mental edifice which would rival the architecture of Gallifrey, if she can integrate it.

That startles her. She hadn't meant to say so much, and certainly hadn't intended for him to understand, to offer that...

I don't know how well anything on... that level would take, she thinks.

She's got no reason to trust him.

She's about to walk into a situation which promises to break her down anyway.

And she's seen his shadow, seen the tight control he has, and... She envies it. If he can help her come close...

So she lets him see the damage. She tries not to force it on him, but she lets the doors in her head crack open so he can see, if he cares to look. Just how far back it goes, how deep the cracks run, how she's pieced herself together with ruthlessness and suspicion and a stubborn determination to survive, to be stronger and better than anyone who'd use her. This is what Thane did to Tosh. This is what he'll likely do to her, whether or not it appears otherwise to a casual observer, because he can, because she has no doubt he'll see the fault lines. She's counting on it, in fact.

And just for a moment, a bare flicker of thought, gone in an instant, what the Doctor did, unknowing. What Jack protected her from, despite the fact that it was the Doctor that he loved.

And that is why she's willing to endure it all over again from Thane, in order to find her Captain. Because he was meant to be one of them, and he proved her wrong.

I think Thane might need me to break. But if I can just keep enough together...

She has no idea if it's even possible, but this is hardly her area.

The Vesmier stops at a small den – they're a popular place, on this TARDIS – and holds the door open, looking over what she's shown him. At the moment he'll approach this as a logical puzzle, a structural puzzle, categorically disallowing himself judgement or emotional reaction. There's a knot of implications and circumstances he can't quite qualify, in any case – things that don't exist on his Gallifrey, things he has no analogue for.

But the exact mechanics of how the damage was done is not so important as the form the damage has taken. And as for that...

The Vesmier is beginning to wonder if this sort of damage is indicative of the species or the people who come through the Rift.

He motions her to a seat.

:: I can't claim to understand all the intricacies, :: he apologizes. :: But something can be done – for this purpose, if nothing else. ::

He might be able to fix it – pull everything into a fine working order – even if he doesn't understand it. But she said it, herself – the key here is not to be fixes. The challenge here is preserving the damage and functionality both.

:: What I would propose, to support these tactics, would be in crudest terms, a dissociation, :: he says. :: In most ideal terms, a regimentation. The damaged segments left near the surface of consciousness, in order to... entice Instagur Thane. :: And there's no concealing a flash of distaste, though quickly smoothed out, on that. :: While at a deeper mental level would be a much more secure structure to which you could withdraw. This would also be ideal to use in our communications. Between these two states would be a set of inclinations and instincts functioning as a simulacrum – on their own they would likely appear in a state of catatonia, but they would provide enough reactivity to allow you not to invest all of yourself in the constant effort of dealing with the man.

:: The majority of your consciousness would be rooted in the more solid structure. This would suggest, though not require, the partial or total suppression of certain parts of consciousness, certain values of identity which are not already compromised. Any nonessential parts of your mind would simply be put to sleep, with simple triggers in place if you needed to wake them. This would allow considerable damage to be done to the active portions without rendering you ultimately unable to function. ::

...and at that he has to pause, take a moment to steady himself, because this...

Moral qualms of duplicating his own consciousness into a commodity aside, this is a moral area he's had the good fortune so far in his life not to skirt. On Gallifrey, psychics as highly-rated as he is are still accorded a certain degree of wariness or even fear, because the damage they could do to another's mind is staggering. And he might not be the one doing the damage, but he's quickly becoming complicit in allowing that sort of damage to be done – and while he's acting to make sure that Suzie, the entity, the holistic functioning being, will endure through this, he's proposing to leave the most fragile and vulnerable parts of her psyche open as an offering to a man he knows will exploit them.

It's not often he wishes that his Doctor were with him – not often he allows himself to. But at the moment, he wants for that familiarity, and for someone he knows so intimately who's more acquainted with this sort of moral grey than he is.

:: ...there would need to be a high degree of your conscious thought available to move between the two states, :: he continues. He can't protect her, not entirely. She will feel this. :: Otherwise you would be unable to interact with him, or to evaluate, re-evaluate, act. But this would effectively give Thane a... :: He searches for an analogue, borrows one from half-remembered conversations with his own Doctor, tries to fit it in. :: ...doll, to impact, which you would control but be able to separate yourself from.

:: To do this would be both far-reaching and invasive, moreso than placing a filter on your Rift perception. I cannot predict the fine details of how this would affect your functioning, or he way in which you would function once it was undone. But it would preserve you. ::

Suzie takes a seat, seeming to fold in on herself, thinking, trying not to look as vulnerable as she feels right now.

Letting him that deeply into her mind is a dangerous thing, and long training tells her to run as fast and far as she can.

But he's offering her a safe, stable place to retreat, to regroup, to keep from breaking so much that she'll be ineffective when reaching Jack. And no matter what she chooses here, she's still going to Thane. He'll still break her, if he doesn't kill her.

...I'd like you to try, if you could. Please. I can't make any promises as to how well I'll take it, and I know that it won't be pleasant for you, but...

I need the advantage. If it could help...

She chuckles a little, and it's not a happy sound.

I never thought I'd be the self-sacrificing sort. There's a whole future I never got to that says the opposite, in fact. Funny how things work out, isn't it. It's pointedly not a question.

That earns... something like a raised eyebrow from the Vesmier. :: Circumstance has a great effect on us, :: he says. :: The portrait painted of me, had certain circumstances been different, is hardly a flattering one. But it is the reality of our choices, and not some hypothetical other path of events, which we must hold ourselves accountable for. ::

The Vesmier doesn't place much stock in might-have-beens. Focus on them too long and he'd go insane, abandon the Senate, abandon everything he fought for.

He steadies himself. :: I can explain, as I work, :: he offers. Were he lucid enough when they were rebuilding his mind, he would have liked to have known. And she doesn't need someone having control over her in a way which entails secrets. :: If you would like to begin. ::

I came closer than I'd like, Suzie thinks, and leaves it at that.

She settles herself a bit more comfortably in the chair, steadies herself as best she can, and nods.

Yes, please, she thinks. To both.

She's making an effort to relax, but it's not easy, and every bit of damage is ringed with traps and defences which she's trying very, very hard to keep inactive.

What's more, if the Vesmier looks deep enough, there's a certain place in Suzie's mind, surrounded by layers of psychic scar tissue, that's blocked away. A day and a night of memories, nothing more, but the structure that conceals them is covered with psychic fingerprints that scream Time Lord to anyone who knows what to look for. The Vesmier might find that structure familiar, in a crazed and distorted way, should he happen to come across it.

And the Vesmier begins. Slowly, steadily, with the same care and concentration he applied to rebuilding April's mind, explaining as he goes along. It's a dangerous proposition, this, but better to give her some edge than to not.

Everything has to be categorized, examined in how it works in conjunction with the rest of her mind. Certain things are pulled down, into the structure he's making – an edifice of resistances, of controls, of certain things bound too sternly to escape to a conscious level without conscious support. Other things are left near the surface of her mind, tied together into a convincing portrait of a broken and bitter woman, with just enough strength not to arouse suspicion.

And then, as he works, he comes across... something.

And pauses, because that mental feel, that pattern, is more familiar than he'd like to admit.

:: ...what is this? ::

And Suzie's not sure how to answer that, considering that, until the Vesmier pointed it out, she had no idea there was anything there at all.

Even now, she wants very much to not think about it, her focus slipping away the moment she wavers in examining the structure.

And she considers that fact with a growing sense of anger, until, with a mental snarl she starts bringing up and cataloguing everything around it. Even if she doesn't want to look at it, she can learn its shape. Once she's learnt its shape, she'll work out a next step. This is what she does, in or out of her own mind.

Details surrounding: she'd met a man. She knows that much, even if his face escapes her. A very charming man. They talked -- they must have talked, though she can't remember about what. Her focus slides away when she looks at it. Right. She's sure they had sex. The pleasure, she remembers, at least a moment of it, pleasure and a loss of control that terrified her in retrospect. The next morning, bruised and hurting, with no real knowledge of how she got that way, wondering if she'd uncharacteristically had too much to drink, and feeling strangely disinclined to question further. Taking off work for a few days, letting herself heal, showering compulsively, as though she could never get herself completely clean. Feeling sick. Crying, for no good rea--

Wait.

She won't let this get away from her.

Triggers for crying: Songs that she heard, a certain rhythm that filled her with dread... A certain cut of suit... The word Saxon on some historical drama or another, which was enough to send her into a state approaching an hysterical fit.

And then it had passed, and she didn't think anything of it.

And it was, perhaps, three weeks before she'd come through the Rift.

...she's getting angrier by the moment, but she locks it down, shoves it back, for the sake of the guest in her mind, if nothing else.

But there's something there, something she's missing.

...and the Vesmier recognizes that. Simple but pervasive, all the more insidious for being so subtle. And that, for what it entails, for the origin he's ever more sure of now, starts a deep-burning anger he only barely tries to shove down.

Simple. A few reinforced commands. Don't look at me, speaking to all levels of consciousness, even the ones which should be able to see that strategem and block it. The overrides have been preemptively overridden.

And it's a sloppy job. ...well. Deceptively sloppy or deceptively intricate, it's hard to tell. Unorthodox. There's a reasoning to the underpinning, but it's a reasoning which defies explanation or expectation. Knots and reinforcers which seem to make no sense, but make untangling any part an exercise in tangling another.

It shouldn't be there. It should not exist, especially not in a mind which is broken apart already.

His instinct is to reach for it, overwhelm it by sheer focus if nothing else, dissolve the restraints and crack the package apart, but – this isn't his mind. And he has no idea what sort of internal safeguards might be lying in there, anyway.

He gets a tight grip on his anger, shoving it down and binding it tight. :: I can unwork this, :: he says, and for a moment there's a flicker of exactly how much he could do. He could bring the judgement of pre-Rassilonate gods down upon this. Then he takes control again. :: I believe I'm familiar with one iteration of the creature which did this. ::

There's a moment when Suzie wants, more than anything, to let him undo it, to find out what's been hiding from her. She's let her body be compromised more times than she cares to think about, but her mind... That was always hers and hers alone, and how dare anyone do this to her? How DARE they?

She throttles the instinctive YesyesYES, undo it NOW and forces herself to consider her options. She's gotten as far as she has by being cautious, paranoid, and very, very pragmatic, and if there was ever a time she couldn't afford the distraction, another revelation that might break her...

You said you could give me triggers to wake parts of myself as needed. Can you give me one for this, as well, so that I can examine it when I'm not about to walk into an already-volatile situation?

She's picked up on the shift in the Vesmier, the anger, that little flicker, and... She might be afraid, if she hadn't already passed her own personal point of no retrn.

The Vesmier tamps down on everything, bringing himself strictly under control. Only once in the last half-millennia has he lost that control entirely, and he doesn't intend to make it twice.

:: I'd be wary of leaving it under a trigger, :: he says. :: Not knowing what it is or whether it's programmed to react, however acutely or chronically, to manipulation. As loathe as I am to suggest it, the best course of action might be to place your memories of discovering it under a trigger and leave it alone for the duration of your interaction with Thane. ::

...And oh, Suzie does not like that idea. She doesn't like it one bit.

But it's the best option, and she knows it.

Go on, then. A bit terse, but it's the best she can do.

Oh, the Vesmier is no more a fan of that idea than you are, Suzie. For very different reasons.

He seals that away, lays a trigger, and moves back into armoring her for the mission she's about to go on. The triggers are simple – activated by conscious will, resistant to attempts without an element of concerted will. He puts all thought of the Master and the suspicious package out of his mind with the same resolution he dedicates to his concentration on the Senate floor.

In the end, it's... serviceable. Which is all he's willing to say for it. It will serve its purpose. It won't protect her, not beyond what they've agreed upon, and it certainly isn't a permanent arrangement, but it's thorough.

He withdraws, still watching to make sure the barriers have integrated, will hold. Then he exhales, trying to gague the level of headache he should expect from this.

Suzie just sits for a moment, getting a feel for the changes in her own mind. It's strange, different... But more than she's ever had before. It'll do.

"...Are you all right?" Torchwood 3 might not have had the most thorough of psi training, but she knows enough to realise that, after the sort of work he's been doing, he probably won't be feeling his best, assuming Time Lords are anything like humans in that regard.

The Vesmier nods, making a gesture at the tips of his fingers which is probably meant to indicate that he has it under control. "I'll go into a trance when we're finished," he says. Aside from the Master thing, it wasn't... too taxing. Though it may be that his standards for "too taxing" have changed dramatically since coming here, where he routinely gives himself these sorts of headaches. "And yourself?"

As all right as one can be with all one's raw patches arrayed at the top of one's psyche. As all right as one an be when one plans to walk into a situation one cannot control and which one expects to destroy one. Nothing about this has Ves comfortable at all.

"I'll manage," Suzie says, with a smile that's... pretty far from genuine, but would fool a casual observer. Not that the Vesmier's observation is even remotely approaching casual, and she knows that. It's more a test, making sure the shell of unflappable competence is in place... Still riddled with cracks, weaknesses to be found and exploited, but if it's too easy, she has the feeling Thane will lose interest. "I always do."

She takes a deep breath, and continues. "Is there anything you can tell me about Thane's mental state that might be helpful?"

The Vesmier considers that, hand moving automatically to activate the holographic display. Not that it will mean anything to her, not that it will be anything but colors and movement, but...

"I can tell you a great deal," he says. "How much of it will be helpful, I can't say.

"Thane's mind is damaged." And oh, if that isn't an understatement. "It was damaged before he came through the Rift. Rational exposure to a temporal paradox – a brute physical and mental trauma which was never addressed, simply buried. This is, so far as I can tell, the originating point for a great deal of his current violence, though by no means all of it.

"That trauma was buried with enough memory, at a high enough level of consciousness, that it formed a relatively cohesive whole – interconnections, internalized reasonings, without the actual impulse consciousness to grant it will. Because it was so clearly partitioned, it formed an exclusion against other data – while its separated history and the personality which developed in its absence are not foreign psychic material, it reacts as though they are. Thane, as he exists now, cannot easily process information which comes from outside of that structure. This makes him both inaccessible and vulnerable."

He paused, tweaking the display, re-reading, re-interpreting the patterns there.

"Thane's mind, the last I had any mental contact with him, had been..." He spends a moment looking for a polite term. He doesn't find one. "Severely and irrationally damaged. This damaged the mechanism by which the formerly dominant personality was being kept suppressed, though I still can't say how, precisely, this will manifest. I do know it would be much harder for me to trigger a reversal the likes of which brought him to the fore in the first place.

"More important is the effect it likely had on his rationality... if one can call it that," he appends at a mutter. "Thane is capricious. This will have made him more so. I do not believe he has any form of unified plan, or the capacity to create or enact one. ...I do believe, however, that he is aware of the damage done to his mind, and likely of strategies to work past it."

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{rp} Will you defeat them, your demons and all the nonbelievers, the plans that they have made?

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