{rp} Will you defeat them, your demons and all the nonbelievers, the plans that they have made?

[superiorspectre]

Suzie hasn't been to see Tosh. She hasn't even tried. If Tosh needs anyone around her right now, it's people she can trust. And Suzie's got no illusions there.

Instead, she's working at being useful, working out her story. She's got something no one else has when it comes to infiltration and deception -- her cover story, if she plays it right, is the absolute truth.

In her own timeline, she'd have betrayed Torchwood. It was only a matter of time. And, sickening as that thought is, it's her armour here and now. He can't spot a lie when there isn't one.

Gwen might've said she wanted to save that for when there were no other options, but right now, the best efforts of geniuses and aliens haven't brought her Captain back. Maybe a manipulative, backstabbing little bitch might have a chance.

After all, she thinks, she was good enough to fool Jack Harkness, in the future everyone else remembers. Maybe, just maybe, she's good enough to play Thane as well.

She knows a few things about what she's walking into; the kind of man she's dealing with, the way he likes having power over others... And her facade has cracks in it, places the old scars still show. She'd be stupid if she didn't think he'd exploit them. And again, she's better-suited than anyone else to go in -- she's been there before, after all.

And maybe, just maybe, this will count as penance, somehow, for the things she did that led to the things she didn't.

She's doing this. She won't be argued with. However, she does have a concept of chain of command, informal as that's always been around Torchwood. Ideally, she needs to speak to Gwen Cooper, but she's not keen on going right over Sam's head. And given what she's about to do...

Well. It might help if there's someone she can't lie to, to reassure (Tosh) everyone of her intentions.

So this is the plan: find Sam, then talk to Gwen, then... Do what else she needs to do. She's going to want a word with the Vesmier, but first, to talk things through with her commanders.

Comments

[definitivestep.livejournal.com]

If Sam were the type to pace, he'd be doing it now. What he tends to do, rather, is take up a position somewhere, and sit there, and think until the restlessness gets to be too much - at which point, he'll get up, move somewhere else to think for a while, and repeat the process.

At the moment, he's at a table in the kitchen, staring off at nothing in particular, glancing every now and then to his journal just in case... well, the prisoners may be back, but Thane's still out there, and Sam's just waiting for the next disaster. It's driving him a little mad that there's not much he can do but wait, unless he wants to talk to Marshall about building a circular sawblade launcher. He's almost considering that at this point.

He glances over when Suzie enters the room, and smiles a little in a tired, distant way. "Suzie." It's half a greeting, half a question. If she needs him for something... well, it'll be more useful than what he's doing now.

[superiorspectre]

"Sam." Suzie gives him a quick, professional smile, and then steels herself for what she's about to say. On the surface she's perfectly calm, collected, but there are lead weights in her stomach, and it's taking an effort of will not to fidget.

"I think I may have an idea for helping with Thane. Normally Gwen would handle this, and I've brought the idea up with her before, when we went to consult with the Vesmier after this all started, but she preferred to use it as a last resort. It seems to me that we're running out of options, however. And since you're my commander in this case, I wanted to clear this with you before approaching her with the idea again." She swallows, then continues. "I'm uniquely suited to get close to Thane, and get information any other psychic would have to strain for. I can see Jack. I can give every appearance of defecting, and provide a perfectly reasonable and 99% true cover story for doing so. No one else here has that."

[definitivestep.livejournal.com]

Sam frowns at her momentarily, and then pushes his chair back, rising to his feet. "You want to go in," he says, just as a confirmation. "If something happens, Suzie, we can't..." No, she knows that if something happens, they won't be able to pull her out. And she was right about running out of options...

He grimaces and looks away for a second, drawing a breath. "How much good do you think this would do? Honestly?" He's not throwing her in there just because they don't know what else to do. But if she really thinks she can get through to Jack, or that she might learn something they can use to stop him...

Gwen is not going to love this plan. Gwen would like the circular sawblade plan more than this.

[superiorspectre]

And this is the question she's agonized over more than anything else, but...

"I'm not going to be able to bring Jack back myself. I can tell you that much. But the repressed memories and personalities seem to gain in strength and clarity the more I speak with them. If I can get him thinking at all, it'll be two double-agents for the price of one. If I can't, I should still be able to get something we can use. And then there's Thane's shadow. What he's repressing is nothing less than a full-on death wish." And that scares her, really it does. Because if he ever finds a way, they lose Jack.

"All it wants is for the pain to end. Given how Thane's been acting recently... It's possible it'll be a bit more prominent. And if I can win it over, that's another source of information, if not outright influence. Don't bet on the influence, but it should be possible." A pause. "I think I can get it on my side. I came close, when Thane was in here looking for the Doctor."

[definitivestep.livejournal.com]

They are running out of options. At this point, absolutely anything that might help them... It could get her killed. Never mind that, at the rate they're going, it's likely to get her killed, and just because no one's actually died yet...

"I think Gwen's in her office." It's been there or in the TARDIS for some time now, and he passed her in the hall not that long ago. "We should talk to her."

[superiorspectre]

Suzie just nods. "Sir." She's aware she could die, and is also aware of several things which might or might not be worse.

And she's going to go through with this anyway. Suzie Costello, the consummate survivour, is going to walk into hell for her Captain. And, to a lesser extent, for the same team that wants as little to do with her as possible.

It's almost funny, in a certain way that's also completely terrifying. But it's the job, and despite everything, she loves her bloody job.

So she's just going to walk with Sam to Gwen's office, and from there... They'll just see, won't they?

[torchwoodsheart.livejournal.com]

Gwen is, for once, actually in her office, staring at her journal like it contains the solution to all her problems. What it actually contains is far too many entries she wishes never had reason to exist, but that's entirely beside the point.

She snaps the journal shut as soon as Sam and Suzie appear in the doorway, looking up in concern. "What is it?" Better than any of the other ways she could think of to phrase it - what's wrong, or what happened? It's always something...

[superiorspectre]

Suzie looks over at Gwen, meeting her eyes firmly. Gwen Cooper. In the next universe over, she'd have tried to kill her, eventually. Now she's asking for permission and aid in possibly killing herself. Funny, that.

"I was discussing something with Sam. The idea I had when this all started, me going in?" There's a slight tentative note to her voice there, but she pushes past it. "As far as I know, we're running out of options, and we've still got no one better qualified to send in after him as a convincing double-agent."

[torchwoodsheart.livejournal.com]

Gwen stares at the two of them for a second like Suzie just suggested that attacking Thane with hummus was their next best option, and then shakes her head slowly. "We just got everyone back. I'm not sending someone else in just because we don't have a solution right now."

She shoots a half glare at Sam, and then Suzie, as if she's not sure who to be annoyed with, Suzie for having the idea or Sam for encouraging it, and shakes her head again. "No. I'm sorry, but no. We will find another way." A way that doesn't involve sending anyone else in there, especially not alone.

[anystranger.livejournal.com]

There's a suit of Chula armor discreetly stalking Suzie. Has been for a while, now.

It tracked her as she went to talk to Sam, then followed her progress up to Gwen's office, then positioned itself in the lobby, passive-scanning and mapping out potential routes.

Once again, there's nothing it can do. Can't accompany her without both endangering her infiltration and changing the course of the timeline. Can't prevent her from going without... well, doing both of the above, to a much greater extent. So what exactly it's stalking her for is an open question.

But, well, there it is.

[superiorspectre]

Suzie's passing through the lobby, perhaps just a bit terrified, but still determined as ever, when she sees the robot and stops, curious despite herself.

"So you're what all the fuss has been about," she murmurs, stepping closer. That may be a bit of a smile forming on her lips, because if there's one thing that can distract Suzie from impending horror, it's something alien and unknown to her. "Just look at you..."

[anystranger.livejournal.com]

The robot scans her, but this time, there's a pause. It's catalogued almost everyone in the tower, of course, and it has protocols for those it has and hasn't, but...

{Identified: Object: Processing No data stored in module ALLE. Identified: Costello, Suzie Jeanette. This unit identifies as Chula Antipersonnel Armour completion ID D1747ч.

Custom message load: this unit has messages(1) to activate in this near temporal region. Designated recipient: 'Suzie Costello'. Threat of catastrophic paradox seeded by message play: 3.221%. Threat level approaches autocancel threshold. Play message Yes/No?}

[superiorspectre]

...It has a message for her. Curiouser and curiouser.

"I doubt there's much of anything you could do to change what I'm about to do," she says. Though the fact that it's so close to the autocancel threshold for a catastrophic paradox is...

She takes a deep breath. Lets it out. Let it never be said Suzie's curiosity couldn't put a cat to shame. "Yes. Play it, please."

[anystranger.livejournal.com]

Three clicks. A second of silence. Then a synthesized recording. It's flat – mechanical attention to metre, to enunciation, but no emotion.

Then again, maybe that's left to the words themselves.

{
  Fear death? - to feel the fog in my throat,
     The mist in my face,
  When the snows begin, and the blasts denote
     I am nearing the place,
  The power of the night, the press of the storm,
     The post of the foe;
  Where he stands, the Arch fear in visible form,
     Yet the strong man must go:
  For the journey is done and the summit attained,
     And the barriers fall,
  Though a battle's to fight ere the guerdon be gained,
     The reward of it all.
  I was ever a fighter, so - one fight more,
     The best and the last!
  I would hate Death bandaged my eyes, and forebore,
     And bade me creep past.
  No! let me taste the whole of it, fare like my peers
     The heroes of old,
  Bear the brunt, in a minute pay glad life's arrears
     Of pain, darkness, and cold.
  For sudden the worst turns the best to the brave,
     The black minute's at end,
  And the elements' rage, the fiend-voices that rave,
     Shall dwindle, shall blend,
  Shall change, shall become first a peace out of pain,
     Then a light, then thy breast,
  O thou soul of my soul! I shall clasp thee again,
     And with God be the rest!
}

[superiorspectre]

And suddenly Suzie's heart is lodged in the vicinity of her throat, beating much too hard and quick, like a trapped, frightened thing.

"Who... Who left that message?"

[anystranger.livejournal.com]

CNJ's face, such as it is, is impassive.

{File access: Dossier:Causal/common:0A1 Response loaded: This armor unit has been requisitioned from the Chula Aegmatra Council of Delta Crateris, Chula Crosstime Measure N139:C202VA:C0701D, Chula Agency Internal Requisition stamp 462O1:00001 ; Unit programmed via direct psychic interface ID 462O1:C24A401 and literal physical interface ; Additional information request YES/NO ?}

[superiorspectre]

Suzie narrows her eyes, looks CNJ over, and then nods. "Yes."

And there she goes, compulsively hoarding information, trying to fit things together in her head. Something to do, something to focus on that's not Thane.

[the-vesmier.livejournal.com]

The Vesmier is still in the cloister room, working at the Thane diagram. The TARDIS will direct anyone who wants to see him right over.

For all that the Vesmier is just sitting there, examining his incomprehensible 3-D map of the psyche, his shadow is... considerably more talkative than normal, parts of the vast pool darkness speaking in turns, its voice soft but echoing in the large cloister.

We didn't anticipate that it would be so fast, one part says. Or nearly so sudden. In the end, we're surprised to say, t barely hurt.

It certainly hurt enough, another part grumbles. And the exact neurological effects aside, you're ignoring the significance. We should not have died in the first place.

Certain things have to be ignored for the benefit of a higher functionality, a third part chides.

The plan was sound, argues the second part, the origin of the voice shifting toward a pillar. If the Doctor hadn't run in like a relk and started tearing things apart–

We cannot blame the Doctor for being what he is, the first voice protests.

We can hold the Doctor to the exact standards to which we hold ourself, the third spot says, a bit louder, now.

So long as we keep in mind his circumstance and character, the second grumbles. Which alone is enough to invalidate any comparison.

He was doing what we failed to do, the first shadow mutters. And what we are continuing to fail to do.

There is that, the second acknowledges.

We will find a way, the third insists, and then there's a pause from all three. The shadow flows a bit, a pattern of darkness around the cloister room, and regards Suzie where she stands.

Hello, the first bit says.

[superiorspectre]

...She really ought to remember to switch that ability back off when she's done with it.

Hello, she thinks, just a bit chagrined. No point in being rude now, though.

"Vesmier?" she says aloud. "Could I speak with you?"

[the-vesmier.livejournal.com]

The conscious Vesmier looks up, switching off the display and nodding. "Of course."

The shadow ripples a bit, making sure she doesn't have to step in it too much to get to him. He'd love it if you had some good news, one voice says. Well. We'd love it.

BE QUIET, another growls.

She's not exactly the Senate. The voice is almost reproving – not so much as the loud one. There isn't any senate here. It's just inertia that's keeping us in this arrangement in any case.

We are going to return to Gallifrey at some point, a softer one points out.

'May'. Not 'are going to.'

Inertia is something eagerly to be conserved. Whatever their arrangement is, the statement brings the other two voices up short. Our apologies. ...that last was probably directed at Suzie.

[superiorspectre]

No worries, Suzie thinks. I wasn't meant to be seeing this anyway. I forget, sometimes to switch this thing back off. I can do that now, actually.

Not that she isn't curious -- the shadow wasn't speaking the last time she saw it -- but she's trying to hold herself to a higher standard. Something Jack might be proud of.

In the meantime, she's got no way of broaching the subject with any kind of delicacy. And, unfortunately for the Vesmier, this news isn't exactly good.

"I'm going to get close to Thane," she says, without preamble. "I can reach Jack, I might be able to turn Thane's subconscious against him, and I'm... Uniquely suited to portraying myself as someone who'd betray Torchwood. And if I can get close to him, I'll have Jack himself to get information out of, if not help. But I'll need some help before I'm ready to go in. You're my first choice, if you'd be willing or able."

And if he isn't... she'll find another alternative.

[the-vesmier.livejournal.com]

There's no need for that. We're not averse to communication.

That prompts an annoyed noise from another part of the shadow. This is NOT proper under any signification of the term.

Again, I remind you that she is not the Senate, nor likely to become affiliated with it. She isn't even incidental to our significance. You could explain at length our opinions without jeopardizing us in the least.

...probably, another part puts in.


The Vesmier has taken a few moments to study her face, his own expression impassive. After those moments, he stands.

"I won't presume to lecture you on the dangers," he says. I offered my services to Torchwood in order to bring this threat to a resolution. If you have a means of doing so... "I am at your disposal."

[superiorspectre]

I'll admit, I'm curious. I don't usually have the chance to converse with a shadow that's this... rational. And for the record, the secrets of a planet I've never been to, a governing body I'd never before heard of, regarding issues I don't understand, are... All right, still interesting, but what would I do with them, honestly?

Suzie smiles. It's cool and professional, for all that she likes the Vesmier... This is official Torchwood business now. She has the feeling the Vesmier will understand.

"Two questions then: first, would you be able to reach me, psychically, at any point within the city? And second... You can construct mental systems, controls. Do you think you could get something in place that would help me control involuntary physical reactions? Changes in respiration, pulse rate, muscle tension... All the things that'll change if I do have to lie to Thane."

[the-vesmier.livejournal.com]

{{OOC: I KNOW WHAT HEX VALUES DO.}}

Oh! We're a construct, explains one. We're relegated here to allow ourself to function in the Senate.

Which, for how little it listens to us now, would dismiss us entirely if we lost our temper, another puts in.

The loudest shadow just mutters something indistinct.

And honestly, there's not much you could do with our secrets. The shadow moves a bit. I don't mean to offend you, but... you're human.

That's hardly charitable. The Doctor's argued at length for the merits of humanity.

The merits of humanity on the Gallifreyan Senate Floor?

The issue is not, the loud one presses, whether or not she could use any information against us. It is a mater of propriety, which is the same reason we exist.

...our existence itself is enough to raise serious allegations, the quietest one speaks up.

Which puts us in the interesting position of being in deault on the conditions of our own existence.

Under that acknowledgement, I propose that we not exacerbate the contraries. The tone is sharp. I motion for silence.


"That requires considerably more than two answers," the Vesmier says, the barest hint of amusement to his tone. "To your first question: yes, in principle. It would require me to be in a trance, and certain states, such as high mental agitation, might prevent me from forming a rapport. In principle, I could use the TARDIS to boost my ability to locate and form a rapport with you. It is useful to note that, as you yourself are not psychic, I doubt you would be able to initiate contact with me. To the second: biofeedback is not an area with which I have a great deal of familiarity, especially not in humans. I can construct filters, mechanisms, but all these take place at a rational or near sub-rational level. In short, I would likely be able to help you regiment your thoughts, and to cut off certain emotional reactions which would trigger physical reactions. Controlling those reactions themselves would be considerably more difficult."

[superiorspectre]

No offence taken, Suzie thinks. And if you'd prefer not to speak to me, by all means... She's a bit charmed by it, really. But then, Suzie tends to be charmed by the strangest things sometimes.

She considers the Vesmier's words carefully. "It's still more secure than any other method I could use to keep in touch. I'm liable to be agitated on a regular basis, but I've had... log practise in pushing that away. If surface-calm's good enough, I may be able to do that. And cutting off the emotional reactions is still better than nothing. I'm hoping to not have to lie to him at all."