{rp} Silence can be a plan rigorously executed...

[superiorspectre]

Suzie's... Not completely asleep, but where she'd like her glasses and a book, she's got nothing but a head full of painkillers, so she might as well doze for a little while.

So she's curled in on herself as much as the wound will allow. Her eyes are closed, her breathing even, and she's just barely aware of the room around her. To all appearances, she's sleeping soundly.

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[superiorspectre]

"It... almost worked." She manages fury for a moment, before it tapers down to resignation. Bloody Thane. Bloody fucking Thane.

And then her mind finds one thought and homes in on it: there was something she left out of the planning. Something she should have relayed and didn't, something... Not good enough.

She did so much for this information, and now...

"I'm sorry," she says, closing her eyes. No point in crying. No point in showing she was hurt, not when Tosh...

No point now, no point then. No point to any of it, was there?

[techniclybrill.livejournal.com]

"It had nothing to do with..." Tosh isn't sure why she feels the need to explain, but someone's going to have to, and she's here anyway... She edges a little further into the room, leaving the door open behind her. "It was the Rani's dog. It teleported with him, and bit him, and he teleported somewhere else..."

She bites her lip and looks down, and makes an effort to keep her breathing steady and even, which doesn't quite succeed. They were so close. They keep coming so close, and every time...

the cat shadow announces as it jumps up onto Suzie's bed and promptly sits down on her feet. Cue the big, adorable sad eyes. FIX IT, SOOZEE.

[superiorspectre]

"Tiered teleportation system. Bloody hell. It would've been too much to ask for anything good to come out of this, wouldn't it?" She can't consider it penance. Not given what happened, not with her wanting him. She can't even justify it by the work she did anymore.

Just one more failure.

No, nothin goez rite. Jak maed us a plan but teh stoopid dog eated it. We still has a Jak, tho. INVISIBLE JAK.

Yes, she's been doing research. On LOLcats. This is her life now, when the most civil conversations she can have with the woman she loves are on a subconscious level.

"...If I still had access to him, if I could just get to Jack..." But there's no point to that, either. As far as Thane knows, she's dead now, and that's all for the best, really.

Better if it were true, comes the thought, and she tries to ignore it.

"There's got to be something. Other than theorising on the implications of shared future memories as a Rift alteration to one base timeline, and whether that means the Rift itself is, from this vantage, actually going back and changing one set timeline, which, assuming a kind of... temporal inertia... I'm on quite a lot of medication, and I've got no idea what I'm going on about." She laughs. Or tries to laugh. It doesn't come out quite right.

[techniclybrill.livejournal.com]

The cat's ears prick forward at that. It misses Jack. It wants Jack back. Things are better with Jack around.

Tosh's eyes had been fixed somewhere around her feet, possibly trying to come up with a graceful way out of this conversation, possibly just avoiding looking Suzie in the eye, but at the mention of the future memories, her head jerks up, and she frowns a little. "What?"

The LOLshadow ducks its head, ears flattening a little.

[superiorspectre]

"I remember." It's said very quietly, but, this being medication time, Suzie doesn't manage to stop. "Thane put a bullet in me, and I remembered Jack, and the pier, and the last words I ever said. And it's different than when you hear about it, remembering what you would've been like. And now I know why you won't look me in the eye, and why nothing I say or do will ever be enough."

She doesn't look up. She doesn't want to see Tosh refusing to meet her eyes. She doesn't want to see her go.

"This is the part where you leave, isn't it? Trust me, I understand." She tries for a sardonic smile, but it falters halfway through.

[techniclybrill.livejournal.com]

Tosh doesn't look down, but she looks away, across the room. There's nothing particularly interesting there, but it's not at Suzie, and that's the important bit, isn't it? But it's just as well that she knows. That she understands why...

The larger shadow looks directly at Suzie, over Tosh's shoulder.

the cat shadow echoes, hunkering down and eying the larger shadow with mixed nervousness and resentment. It's sorry, even if the larger shadow isn't and Tosh tries not to think about it.

She bites her lip, and takes a step toward the door. "I'm glad you're alright," she says quickly, just before backing out of the room. The cat tumbles off the bed and races for the door with a soft , just making it out before the door swings shut.